The dreaded phone...

I would like to get rid of my cell phone. I don't want it anymore. Actually, wait. I like the device itself. It helps me find directions, keeps me entertained, gives me instant information when I need it and keeps me organized. But the whole dialing out and receiving calls thing I can definitely do without.

Is that bad?

It's just so much pressure to call people and keep up conversation. Is it because I'm not talking to the right people? Like my friend Sara. I went on my first big trip in August with Scott. It was the first time either of us had gone anywhere besides a backpacking trip a few hours away, and it was certainly the first time we had gone international. We got back and almost immediately afterwards, my friend Sara left for her big trip.

Sara has one of those infectious personalities. She laughs heartily at everything and the next thing you know, everything is funny to you, too. And it feels good, so you have a grand old time. But she definitely has some draw backs that make you want to shake sense into her every once in a while.

First off, Sara has gone on an international trip for several months each year for the past several years. With a paycheck very similar to the size of mine (ahem, my previous one rather), she somehow makes it happen. Of course, she has a mom that dumps all kinds of things her way, from laptops to cameras, to brand new flat screens for her boyfriend at Christmas. Not that it's wrong. If my parents wanted to do that...fine! But the money I use to buy basic things like a camera or to pay basic expenses, like a deposit on an apartment, car insurance, car payments, are payed by me. Not my parents. So it must be nice. (Okay, I know I sound bitter, but I can't help it.)

Anyway, so she left for her third Euro-vacation with a bunch of friends. From there, her and another friend were headed to Africa for a"meaningful vacation" which is essentially paying more than you normally would to go to a developing country and volunteer.

Things that pissed me off about it PART I: Both her and the other friend asked us repeatedly to "donate to the cause" several times throughout the year. First, it was casually mentioned. Then, we were all hit up several times to donate our old clothes, jewelery, junk etc so they could sell them at a series of yard sales. When it was crunch time, we received emails and "reference letters" from the program administrators and bios about both girls and how much they look forward to "giving back" and "living out their dreams of helping others."

That's great. No really, that's great. It's nice and I get where they are coming from......kind of. It's just that, first off, why don't you shave off one week off your three-week Euro vacation to help pay a portion of your Africa trip, hmm? Second, you can hit me up once or twice, but not three, four, five, six, seven times. And then I hear from my best friend that Sara walks around saying, "I don't understand what is so hard about giving up $20 here and there."

Things that piss me off about it PART II: Here's what's so hard about it. Despite the same size of my paycheck and the additional fact that we NEVER go out (like Sara does a couple of days EVERY weekend, and throughout the week), that I NEVER go shopping, (save for once a year or so and mainly because I have gift cards from my birthday or Christmas), and that we live a very simple life (no cable, no fancy toys, etc), I still have only a little bit left at the end of the month to save some money and -GASP- maybe buy dinner once in a while when I'm too pooped to cook. I wish my parents bought me everything I ever wanted, but they don't. In fact, I make sure my mom is taken care of, and will often times step in to purchase something that she really needs.

Things that piss me off about it PART III: To top it all off, she is an incredible amount of drama. And since she's moved in with Celia (don't even get me started on her) the drama has increased immensely. So I never really like to have them around anyway, because if there aren't enough cute boys around, they get antsy. And every time I invite them for a birthday party or a celebration, they always leave early so they don't miss the deadline for whatever guest list they happen to be on at a downtown club.

Did I mention that Sara is supposed to be one of my bridesmaids? Eeesh.

Anyway, back to the phone. So she's been back for a few weeks, and I haven't called. Part of me didn't because I've been especially miserable as of late. But there's another part of me with a reason that I just can quite put my finger on. Is it "misery loves company" that keeps me away from her? Like that I'm afraid that she'll actually put me in a good mood? Or is it that I think we're so far off that I don't want to hear all the good things she has to say and pretend like I think it's all funny and cool.

Since she's been back, she's sent me text messages and emails with increasing anger, questioning my reasons for not calling. And I'm confused. Isn't the phone a two-way thing? She can text and email me, but I have to call her?

Am I missing something? And more importantly, why can't I just pick up the phone and get it over with already?!